Home > alcohol, College, Crazy, Dysfunctional, Embarrassing, Funny, Life, Marriage > Strange places I’ve woken up after a night of drinking

Strange places I’ve woken up after a night of drinking

Twenty something Maria LOVED her screwdrivers and gin and tonic. In all of my twenties I drank much more than I should have and rarely restricted myself to weekends. Here are a few of the places I’ve woken up after a night of drinking.

Under a conference table at work. One morning I stumbled into work still drunk from the night before (yeah, no sh*t). I must have had my last of a dozen drinks only two hours prior. It was a small office and since our CEO was out for the day, at my co-worker’s suggestion I took a nap on the comfy floor of the conference room. I must’ve rolled around because I woke up a few hours later with two of my co-workers having lunch on the table above me.

In the passenger seat of my dad’s car parked in front of Oakland airport. Yeah, go figure.

In the shower where my sister continued to curse me as she tried to wash vomit out of my waist length hair. One of my best friends was busy mopping up the mess I made and kept saying, “Damn, Maria!”  This scene was dejavu because just a few years earlier I woke up in the shower at my grandma’s house, but it was my grandma washing the crap out of my hair with my aunt yelling at me in Tagalog.

Sitting on the toilet. Yup, I walked in with the intention of using the bathroom, but apparently forgot to pull my pants down and just fell asleep. Fortunately, I couldn’t have been sitting there too long because my equally drunk husband came barging in, swinging the door wide open and asking very loudly, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE? HOW MANY LUMPIAS CAN YOU EAT?” He was frying us eggrolls to fulfill our late night munchies.

In the dressing room of a stripper club which doubled as the women’s restroom. I was on one of the dressing room benches with several kindly strippers trying to wake me up so they could change.

Flat on my back on a sidewalk with several of my drunk friends standing over me remarking how I looked like I was trying to make snow angels in the dry pavement.

Beside a tree stump in the front yard of some house party. I was so drunk my friends say I kept running in and out of the house with some very cute drunk guy chasing me, that is, until I flew up over a tree stump I clearly didn’t see, fell on my face in front of dozens of partygoers and the cute boy, and cold knocked myself out.

Despite how embarrassing all those moments were, each time I reread this post, I can’t help but miss my twenties and my dozen drinks a night stamina.

  1. November 20, 2010 at 7:17 PM

    Ah yes, my twenties. I’m currently still enjoying them. I’m going to save the growing up for my thirties. Maybe 🙂

  2. November 21, 2010 at 8:10 PM

    LOL, hilarious. I’ve had the shower one happen to me.

  3. juice
    November 22, 2010 at 4:38 PM

    which one of dad’s cars did u fall asleep in?

    • November 22, 2010 at 4:59 PM

      Don’t remember… Night of rods bachelor party I had a 6am flight to atl to party with bosefa..u were too drunk so I convinced kris to take me to oak..we were both so scared and drunk we wouldn’t wake up in time to get me to airport in time so we slept at oak airport instead. We woke up and were like “where the hell are we?”

  4. Just Visiting
    November 24, 2010 at 12:49 PM

    So funny, until I got to the part about snow angels in the dry pavement, yep I vaguely remember that night.

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