I’m So Cheap

Welcome to the I’m So Cheap Series. Personally, I prefer to describe myself as cost-efficient, but everyone else tells me I’m just plain old cheap. So I’ve decided to start a series of rants documenting my cheap antics or tips to save money, whichever way you want to look at it.

Enjoy people, you might actually find some of my tips worthwhile and not just crazy.

I’m so cheap..
Originally published 12/17/10

I’m so cheap…it costs a ton to feed my family of seven at home, even moreso when we eat out, so we frequent buffets. More bang for your buck, I say.

One afternoon we went to a Golden Corral where the rude waitress proceeded to seat us in the big family, ergo ghetto who-gives-a-crap about them, section. I was mortified. The area was tucked in a corner and hidden by dividers. Other people’s children were running around playing tag and dirty plates were piled up on tables without a busser in sight, but we were hungry so we stuck around.

I spent the rest of the hour complaining about nasty this, nasty that, ghetto here and there, blah, blah, blah. At some point my husband turned to me and told me to shut up.

“You’re the ghetto-est of them all, babe,” he accused.

“WHAT,” I retorted, “you better take that back,” I demanded.

“No,” he stood firm, “I know what you’ve been doing for the last ten minutes.”

I fidgeted in my seat uncomfortably. “I’m not doing anything,” I refuted.

“Yes, you are. Open your purse,” he directed.

“NO.”

“I bet you don’t want to. You have a bunch of sticky buns and rolls in your purse, I know you do.”

“I only took one or two,” I replied defensively.

“No, babe, you took eight and you’ve been putting them in ziplock bags that I know you brought from the house.”

Mission take-some-extra-rolls-home foiled! Darn it.

“Babe, you’re sticking $0.50 rolls in the $1000 Burberry bag I bought you. Are you crazy? I’m not buying you anymore nice purses if you’re just going to use them to hide stolen food.”

Pouting and reluctant, I surrendered and pulled the giant ziploc bag of rolls out of my purse, tossing them on the table. (On our way out I did grab the bag and hid it in my jacket.)

Suffice to say, I no longer steal rolls from buffets..at least not in front of my husband.

 

I’m so cheap..
Originally published 11/14/10

I’m so cheap … I save and store every condiment packet, napkin, and plastic utensil we don’t use when we eat out. It’s not uncommon to eat at my house and find the table set with varied McD’s, Wendy’s, and Jack in the Crack napkins, ketchup packets, and sporks. One evening when I ran out out of soy sauce for the chicken adobo dinner I was preparing I just used all the soy sauce packets in my pantry instead of buying a second bottle. It still tasted good, at least no one complained.

I’m so cheap … when my youngest son requested Estancia Churrascaria, a fancy Brazilian all-you-can-eat steakhouse, for his birthday dinner I agreed under one condition. For a family of six our bill would be upwards of $200 after tax and gratuities and that’s assuming I limited everyone to drinking tap water, so in an effort to maximize my return I forbade each child, even the girls who were eight at the time, and my husband not to consume anything more than water and one snack prior to dinner that day. No, I’m not kidding. I wanted to make sure everyone was hungry and we got our money’s worth. I’m sure all the gaucho-attired waiters were amazed by how much steak six people could actually eat in one sitting.

 

I’m so cheap…
Originally published 11/18/10

I’m so cheap … for the last few days I’ve been hungrily eying the broken office chair our Executive Director at work is trying to trash. One of the wooden arms has completely broken off and the seams have separated in several areas along its side revealing the yellow styrofoam beneath the leather.

I keep thinking that if I can just break the other arm and maybe color in the spaces where the styrofoam is peeking with a black Sharpie, it still might be a good chair. I voiced what I thought were my clever solutions to save the chair, but my Office Manager and Executive Director both just rolled their eyes at me.

Stay tuned for more of my I’m so cheap blog segments!

  1. Dinah Racadag
    February 12, 2012 at 8:21 PM

    OMG…..I soooooo love this I’m So Cheap Series!!!! Honest and Light-hearted…Girl, YOU ROCK!

    • February 18, 2012 at 5:53 PM

      LOL, thank you. I learned being a cheap *ss from growing up in a culture that invented it!

  2. joyce ragasa
    March 19, 2012 at 10:13 PM

    maria…ur doing a great job! thanks for sharing these rants with me:) its nice how down to earth and real ur stories are. keep writing and good luck!!!!

    joyce

    • March 19, 2012 at 10:29 PM

      Joyce!! Thanks so much for popping by and reading me. And thank your for your encouraging words. I aim to keep it real, can’t beat the entertainment of honesty. Hope I made you laugh and cry in all the right places. 🙂

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